PostPartum Depression

A friend of mine recently posted a very private, but moving piece on her blog...which inspired me to do the same. This is something I rarely talk about except with the people very closest to me. However, maybe writing about it will help someone else out there who has experienced, or is experiencing the same thing.
It really started about a month or so after Hailey was born. She was a VERY colicky baby and would cry most of the day. On top of that I had a very active 18 month old who still needed a lot of care. Hailey only slept for maybe 2 hours at a time at night, so my sleep was horrible. Grant was working long hours, sometimes not coming home until 8 or 9 at night. The day that was the breaking point was a very clear one to me. It was about 7:00 in the evening and Hailey had been crying for hours and Ella was acting up...being normal for a toddler...but too much for me to handle. I remember Ella wouldn't let me change her diaper, so I just was letting her run around naked. I was sitting in Hailey's room with the lights off, rocking her, trying to get her back to sleep. Ella was running around like a crazy woman, and throwing things off the banister to the second story. I had a very real thought that I wanted to throw both of them off the banister and it scared the HELL out of me. I immediately called Grant and told him to come right home. The next day I called a wonderful physicians assistant I had known before and I knew would help me because I had tried to express this to my own dr. only to be pushed off. I went and saw her and she was very understanding and started me on some medication. It took a few different tries, but I finally found one that worked. She also helped me get into a pediatrician because my family dr. just wasn't helping me with Hailey. The pediatrician was also my saving grace b/c she diagnosed Hailey with reflux and finally after two different medications, we found one that worked. Over night Hailey became a different baby b/c she wasn't in agony anymore.
I still feel like I am battling with it a bit. I have very little energy, and although I am not a weepy type of depressed, I mostly feel very overwhelmed. The medication does help. The winter does not help. I am looking forward to the spring time when I can get outside for walks in the warm sunshine because I know that will help. In fact over the summer I went off the medication because I was feeling so good just due to the weather.
I am writing about this because I know I am not the only one who has gone through this. Many people have experienced and gotten good treatment. Others may have it and not recognize it quite yet. If anyone reading this needs to talk about it, please give me a call or an email shout out. I can totally understand because I have lived through it.